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Victim-Blaming Questions After Sexual Assault

Victim-blaming questions after sexual assault, like “What were you wearing?” or “Were you drinking?”, have nothing to do with whether a sexual assault happened. Under Colorado law, what matters is what happened and whether you consented, not your clothes, your dinner or your drink.

Please note: Greer Law Group handles sexual abuse claims against institutions and organizations that allowed the abuse to happen, such as schools, churches, youth programs, hotels, and employers. We do not take cases against an individual acting alone, such as a family member, spouse, partner, or acquaintance. If that describes your situation, the Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault and the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 can connect you with support.

If you’ve been the victim of a sexual assault, you shouldn’t also be the target of stupid, and massively inappropriate, questions from the police. Questions that sound like they’re trying to gaslight you into thinking it was your fault or that you were a willing participant.

Examples of Victim-Blaming Questions

  • “What were you wearing?”
  • “Didn’t he buy you a pretty expensive dinner?”
  • “Did you say no? Are you sure he heard you?”
  • “Were you drinking? How much did you have to drink?”

These questions are stupid because they have nothing (ZERO) to do with the legal concept of sexual assault. Under Colorado’s sexual assault statute, there are two main aspects of sexual assault:

  • The defendant sexually penetrated you or performed what is called an act of “sexual intrusion” on you; and
  • The defendant knew you did not consent.

Sexual assault can also happen when the victim is “physically helpless” (for example, unconscious or asleep), the defendant knows it, and the victim has not consented. It can also happen when the defendant knows the victim is “incapable of appraising the nature of the victim’s conduct,” such as when the victim is too intoxicated to understand what is happening. Colorado’s statute covers a number of other acts, too, that can depend on the age of the victim, whether the victim is in custody or in the hospital, and other factors.

Questions from police officers that suggest the victim led their attacker on, enticed the attacker by wearing provocative clothing, or owed the attacker sexual favors in exchange for an expensive meal are improper, irrelevant, and designed to make the victim doubt whether they should press charges.

Civil Options After Sexual Assault

If you’ve survived a sexual assault, contact Greer Law Group. We help clients all over Colorado file civil claims against their attackers, recovering damages that can help you pay for your mental health and medical care, your lost wages, and the pain and suffering you endured during and after the attack. We understand how devastating it can be to have been the target of a sexual assault, and we’re here to help you recover your mental and physical well-being. Marlo Greer talks about these questions in her TikTok.

Call Greer Law Group at 303-331-6460 or use our contact form to schedule a free, confidential consultation.